My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
