It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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