Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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