sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
