I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
