You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
