i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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