wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
