We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
