Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize