you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
