some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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