I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
