My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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