Already got asked if we're dating
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Welp...herpes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
