Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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