i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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