I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize