Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
