he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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