why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
