Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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