I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
