Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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