There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
