Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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