i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
