we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
