I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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