Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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