i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize