I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
