Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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