DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
