Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
