My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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