No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
