if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
