Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
NoShamevember. You game?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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