It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
