i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
this is an emotional support booty call
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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