dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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