and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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