All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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