And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
