he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
