Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
