Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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