If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
