im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
