speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
