so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
