When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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