I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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