her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
