It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Found the puke drawer
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
