I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
