im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
