Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
