Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
