I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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