He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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