I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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