I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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