Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
