we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
