I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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