Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Text me some of your sweat
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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