i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
