We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This house was built for laser tag.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
