The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
