the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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