ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize