did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We're too hungover to prance.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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