Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
