Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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