Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
this is an emotional support booty call
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
